As a dermatologist, I'm all about precision, careful observation, and detailed plans. Every day, I make decisions that affect the health and well-being of my patients. Not too long ago, I had to put these skills to the test in a completely different playing field — planning my own wedding! Here are some personal insights and practical tips I gathered from my lanes of dermatology and wedding planning to help you enjoy this beautiful journey while keeping stress at bay.
1. Create a Detailed List of Wedding Essentials
From your wedding venue to the last safety pin that tucks your gown into place, there's an extensive list of elements that make your wedding day magical and executable!
Begin by listing down everything you'll need on your big day. Essentials to list include (and are not limited to): the venue, catering, transport, accommodation (for family and guests), photographer and/or videographer, wedding dress, wedding suits, bridal and groomsmen outfits, hair and makeup artist, etc.
Make a separate list of non-essential but desirable elements you would like to include in your wedding. Once you have budgeted for your essentials you can return to the desirable list.
2. Prioritise and Secure Essential Vendors
Next, it's absolutely crucial you prioritise the essential list according to the importance of securing vendors and locking them into your wedding date.
In the wedding planning world, the best vendors - the ones who are reliable, experienced, and highly sought after - usually get booked up at least a year or two in advance.
In more popular wedding destinations, this 'booking in advance' strategy is an absolute must. However, even if you're thinking of a more remote or unique location for your wedding, don’t be lulled into thinking you have all the time in the world! Remote locations come with their own challenges - limited vendor options and the added cost of possibly needing to fly in professionals from elsewhere.
From my personal experience, the peace of mind that comes from knowing your major vendors are locked in is immeasurable. The sooner that’s done, the more you can focus on the fun, minor details without major stress looming over you.
3. Know the Fine Print: Setting Clear Expectations and Doing Your Homework
Imagine this: you're making a big purchase – let's say, a new laptop. You're excited about this swanky piece of tech, ready to splurge, so you promptly make the purchase. The next thing you know, you’re grappling with unexpected add-ons and software expenses, turning your smooth sail into choppy waters. Sound familiar?
Now, think about your wedding planning – a realm where the stakes (and costs) run high. It’s extremely easy to get swept up in the excitement, checking off to-dos, and imagining your picturesque day. But remember, the devil is often in the details!
During our wedding planning, the mantra that steered us clear of stress was this: 'when in doubt, ask'. Just as you would clarify every detail about that shiny new laptop, ask questions to vendors, know the services they provide, and, most importantly, the costs you’ll be up against.
Transparency should be the cornerstone of your relay race towards D-day. Verify that your contracts include all the essential services and note the optional ones. This way, you can make informed decisions that cater to both your dream day and your budget.
A little bit of research can go a long way too. Trust me, informed brides make happy brides. Experienced vendors can forecast needs and avoid last-minute hassles, unlike less experienced ones who might spring expensive and unpleasant surprises as you get closer to the big day.
Long story short – clear knowledge gives you the peace of mind to focus more on the joy and anticipation of your wedding day! So pop those questions, take notes, and remember, you’re not just planning an event, you're crafting an experience for yourself and your guests. Navigate it with attention, a clear headspace, and buckets full of love.
4. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work: Involving Your Partner in Decisions
Think back to a project you’ve worked on, a brainstorming session you've been part of, or even a trip you've planned with friends. I bet you had more fun – and less stress – working as part of a team. I’ve always found that collaboration sparks creativity in me, adds multiple perspectives, and infuses more fun into the task.
Here’s an interesting observation from my wedding planning journey: I’m the detailed planner in my relationship - I love organising events, creating lists, and ticking tasks off them. So, naturally, I took the lead in most of our wedding planning. What I didn’t realise, however, was that my partner also had ideas, preferences, and useful insights to share. Once I shared the planning and decision-making load with him, I not only felt lighter, but we also found ways to include elements we both loved, aligning the celebrations more with 'us'.
So, even if you adore planning and have a clear vision for your wedding day, involve your partner in the process. After all, it's their day as much as yours. For significant expenses or decisions, ensure you're on the same page, as assumptions might lead to misunderstandings or budget overruns.
One fun way to do this is by turning it into a 'date night'. Set aside regular dates or evenings to discuss where you are in the planning process, what’s next on the agenda, which vendors to consider, etc. Making these discussions fun rather than treating them as to-dos focuses on the joy of planning your big day rather than ticking off mundane tasks.
Remember, the wedding is just the start of your life together. Learning to navigate decisions and manage projects together is an essential life skill. The shared experiences and teamwork during your wedding-planning experience can serve as a launching pad to building a-strong, mutually understanding, and respectful future together! So, lean into the process with open arms and an open heart.
5. Celebrate the Journey
I'll admit - I'm one of those people who tends to focus on the goal rather than the process, as I am always seeking the thrill of accomplishing tasks. But when it came to my wedding, I quickly understood that this kind of mindset had its downsides. Amidst all the planning, decision-making, and ensuring everything went perfectly, I realised I was missing out on the joy and the unique experiences this journey was offering me.
So, I decided to flip the script. Yes, there was a mountain of things to do. Yes, juggling multiple tasks was overwhelming. But amidst all of that, I realised it was important to take time to etch these beautiful memories in my heart.
Whether it’s cake tastings, venue hunting, picking out your wedding dress or decor, each moment hides a little joy of its own. Sure, you’re running against the clock, and there might be a few bumps on the road. Yet, amidst those moments also lie laughter, love, and memories that last a lifetime.
Celebrate the small wins, the milestones reached, laugh over the blips, and bond with your partner, family, and friends in the process.
Remember, at the end of the day, it is these experiences and memories that you will look back at and cherish. You’re not just planning a wedding, you’re crafting a tapestry of experiences that will hang in the gallery of your memory. Try not to get so caught up in the whirlwind that you forget to step back, relax, and truly absorb these joyous moments. Trust me, they’re worth more than just making it to the finish line.
