As someone who's spent years studying and practicing medicine, multitasking between patients, paperwork, constant exams and deadlines, I thought I was invincible when it came to wedding planning. Let's face it, I've faced much more daunting and life-threatening tasks than picking out centrepieces or tasting cakes!
But let me tell you, the stressful world of medicine had nothing on the wild roller coaster that is wedding planning. Along this ride, one of the most unexpected challenges I encountered was selecting the right bridesmaids.
So grab a cup of tea, or coffee, or a glass of wine (no judgement here), and settle down as we dive deeper into the art of bridesmaid selection.
Choosing the Right Bridesmaids
First thing's first, selecting bridesmaids is like hiring a team. You need reliable, organised individuals who can communicate effectively, and are kind and thoughtful. You have to look past the temporary 'bestie' status and consider the long-term effects this choice may have on your wedding - both the planning process and the day itself.
When making my selections, I focused on friends and family who showed examples of these qualities in their everyday life. Those that were already active communicators and were genuinely considerate of the feelings of others - especially those of my future husband and me.
A tip I'd share from my experience is to always remember that while your bridesmaids are there to support you, they, too, have their lives and commitments. So, while picking bridesmaids, it's helpful to consider their ability to fully deliver on their roles, ensuring they have the time and resources to make things happen without feeling overburdened or stressed.
And one crucial thing - always keep in mind that selecting a larger crew of bridesmaids means a higher budget for the bridal party expenses. Costs to consider include bridal dresses, heels (and alternative more comfortable footwear for the extended party), hair and make up, jewellery/accessories and the list goes on... So when it comes to size, don't just follow a trend, instead, consider what fits well with your vision and budget.
In essence, selecting bridesmaids should be like choosing the right skincare regimen - it should reflect what suits you best and makes you feel confident and content. Because remember, your wedding should be a celebration of love and happiness, not a stress-inducing experience!
Asking Your Top Picks
The moment of asking your chosen ones to be your bridesmaids/maid-of-honour should be special. You're entrusting these individuals with significant responsibilities, and showing your appreciation from the get-go sets a positive and memorable tone.
Some special ways I found to ask included personalised gifts like lockets/bottles of wine/biscuits/embroidered handkerchiefs, or simply a heartfelt, handwritten card explaining why I wanted them by my side on this monumental day.
Setting a Budget
The phrase 'too many cooks spoil the broth' applies perfectly to wedding budgets. If too many people are involved and spending indiscriminately, it can quickly spiral out of control.
Setting a clear budget from the beginning for all things related to your bridesmaids – dresses, heels, accessories, make-up, hair, and any extras – can act as a firm backbone amidst the flurry of wedding expenses.
Although it may seem kind allowing your bridesmaids to select their own dresses and heels for the day, I would recommend discussing the budget openly with your bridesmaids to avoid any confusion or ill feelings later on. Not discussing these at the start sets a tone for an unlimited budget which is often not the case with weddings...
Allocating Tasks
As the adage goes, 'many hands make light work'. But only when those hands know exactly what they're doing.
Early on in the wedding planning phase, lay out all the tasks and responsibilities that need to be handled. This could range from dress shopping/fittings, accompanying you to food tastings, managing RSVPs, planning your hen-do/bachelorette...
While I allocated duties based on each bridesmaid’s strengths and availability, I also ensured they were comfortable with their assigned roles. This mutual understanding and teamwork not only lightened my load but also made the whole process more enjoyable and memorable.
Choosing your bridesmaids is much more than picking your favourites. It requires thoughtfulness, openness, proactive budgeting, and a knack for management. If you navigate this journey well, the reward isn't just a smooth wedding planning process, but also the joy of sharing your most special day with those who genuinely care about you and your journey ahead. Trust me, as someone who's been through the process, these efforts are totally worth it.
